Random thoughts from a random mind

I don't suffer from randomness… I, obviously, quite enjoy it!!

Are my real eyelashes upside down?

Right, let me begin.  When I was younger I never noticed. In fact, I only noticed a few years ago.

I’m deformed. (OK you hardly know me so you want to be spared the details, please try to read on, it’s not horrific).

Well to me it’s horrific, of course, that goes without saying. I mean, how would you feel if you took a look in the mirror to see what I see every day?

Before I carry on I would like to say APOLOGIES to anyone who has worse deformities than me. I do empathise with you, as I have said many times before, ‘there are people worse off than myself,’ so please don’t take offence.

I’m only telling you how I feel about, one of them. Oh yes, there are more but I can only manage to tell you  about this one for now. Maybe, after time, I will feel a little more confident to be able to divulge the true extent to my problems. That time may never come but let’s take it one step at a time. I wouldn’t want to scare anyone.

My problem is that my eyelashes are upside down. (The clever people among you would have realised that from the title. Humour me.)

So there I was applying my black, water-proof mascara, it has to be water-proof, I cry when I laugh and as I’m always laughing, do I need to say anymore… when I noticed that the bottom ones are longer than the top. Not just a little bit longer either. I wouldn’t say that they were long, the bottom ones, just that they are longer than the top.

Confused? Well my partner was when I ran out of the bathroom screaming that I was deformed. Bless him, he tried to make me feel better by saying, ‘you’re not that badly deformed!’ but that didn’t help. How could I face the World like this? Surely everyone is looking at me, pointing their fingers, trying not to laugh at me but failing miserably.

What could I do? I am rubbish at putting those false eyelashes on. Whenever I did try I couldn’t get the corners to stay or one end would and the other wouldn’t, which left my eyes looking like a lop-sided spider. Not that there’s anything wrong with being one of those, I add, in case there are any said spiders reading this. Incidentally, if you are, then please comment.

Anyway, I shared my problem with my friend, who just happens to have the longest lashes I have ever seen, apart from my daughter’s which are long too. She was sympathetic once she’d stopped laughing and realised that I was serious. She’d said that she hadn’t noticed before but on closer inspection, all was evident. She gave me some advice on what the possibilities were and again, ‘false ones’ were mentioned.

Now, I didn’t want lashes that, when I blinked I fanned everyone in the room. All I wanted was to look normal again. My confidence had taken a serious blow and I needed to deal with it if I were to carry on a normal, working life.

I couldn’t imagine there being anyone in the same boat as me but I expect there were and still are. I’m not trying to over dramatise things, I have been accused of being a ‘Drama Queen’ before. How very dare they!  No, I just wanted to be able to flutter my lashes and feel them flutter, not too much to ask for.

So, at my earliest convenient time to set about buying some, I did just that. All for the sake of vanity. My daughter helped me select the correct ones. I didn’t go for the really thick ones, nor the sparkly ones. I didn’t want people to notice that I was wearing them. I just wanted them to be life like. I bought just the pair.

The sales assistants should really show you how to apply them because, even though I knew I was a useless lash fixer, I still tried…and tried…and gave up. At one point I had a lovely curly moustache,( not ideal if you are a lady though). Luckily the glue wouldn’t stick over my lip so it didn’t adhere. Phew!

With my daughter’s help I achieved the look I was after. My friend’s party was the place to wear them and how ‘special’ they made me feel, although I was scared they would start to slide off down my face so kept asking my daughter and friend, ‘are they still there?’ Of course they stayed until I peeled them off that night. Crikey! That didn’t half hurt!

When I look back at the photos, of which there are many but I’m not showing anyone, I could tell that there was something different about me. It wasn’t the lashes because they didn’t show up in the photos. It was probably the confidence oozing out of every pore of my being and my beaming smile.

The smile that made my cheeks look massive. I’ll have to think of a way to disguise them. How I don’t know. Any ideas anyone?

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