Random thoughts from a random mind

I don't suffer from randomness… I, obviously, quite enjoy it!!




Deep breath…


OK I’m a bit of a light weight when it comes to watching any film or TV programme when it has an element of ‘making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.’  I can’t help it either. I do try to be brave but most of the film concerned is watched behind my shaking hands. 


I know when it all started….

It was when I was a child and Dr Who was on. I can’t remember who the doctor was but that’s irrelevant. It was the (I can’t believe I’m going to even write the name of them) Daleks. I spent the entire programme behind the sofa. Too scared to ever come out.

I know. You would think that anyone who was afraid of the Daleks was a wimp. 

Well, my followers (don’t know why I wrote that but it makes me feel important so let’s go with it.) I am a WIMP.

I don’t care if it makes me look inadequate. I’m afraid of the Daleks still.

There I’ve said it now. (If anyone does their voice around me I freeze.)


Back in the day, these aliens could only roll along which was still flipping scary but now…they can hover.

I can’t imagine how many nightmares I would’ve had knowing that back then. At least when I was a child my bedroom was upstairs and they couldn’t climb stairs. Hovering Daleks puts a whole new scare factor into the equation.


Incidentally, I have seen the trailer for the new Dr Who where the doctor is surrounded by his enemy. I’m worried for him. Will he get out alive? I hope so because he’s the only person who can destroy these aliens. 

Let us not forget that it’s not only those ‘things’ that scare me. Oh no. I’m a wimp remember?


My family watch all sorts of films and it doesn’t matter to them what they watch even if it scares the hell out of me. (The only exception is my daughter who is just as bad as me).

Believe it or not, it took me at least three attempts to watch the whole ‘I am legend’ film. It got so bad that my partner could take no more of my screaming and watching it behind my hands that he had to change the channel. I was OK until I saw the first zombie and that was it. it freaked me out.

 I don’t think I’m normal.

It doesn’t stop there though…

I could go on forever because there are so many films that I’m scared of but writing about them makes me relive my fears. 

I’m A Wimp


Other things that scared me:

Richard Hillman in Coronation Street, when he went doo-lally, did.

Stella Crawford in Eastenders when she was nasty to little Ben also did. As did Nasty Nick Cotton with his mum Dot.


To add to my wimpishness (I don’t care if it’s not a word)…

My partner has just reminded me that I get scared watching ‘Robson Green‘s Extreme Fishing’ and that’s because I get frightened when he catches fish that might kill him. On one occasion he was being chased by a Caimen  alligator.

Oh my Goodness! I was so scared I screamed to Robson to ‘WATCH OUT’


Do you see what I mean now? I have watched many a thriller from behind my trembling fingers. 

Now I’ve written about some of them it’s made me even more scared but I’m going to take it as a bit of therapy…


Please don’t mention them in front of me…


Are my real eyelashes upside down?

Right, let me begin.  When I was younger I never noticed. In fact, I only noticed a few years ago.

I’m deformed. (OK you hardly know me so you want to be spared the details, please try to read on, it’s not horrific).

Well to me it’s horrific, of course, that goes without saying. I mean, how would you feel if you took a look in the mirror to see what I see every day?

Before I carry on I would like to say APOLOGIES to anyone who has worse deformities than me. I do empathise with you, as I have said many times before, ‘there are people worse off than myself,’ so please don’t take offence.

I’m only telling you how I feel about, one of them. Oh yes, there are more but I can only manage to tell you  about this one for now. Maybe, after time, I will feel a little more confident to be able to divulge the true extent to my problems. That time may never come but let’s take it one step at a time. I wouldn’t want to scare anyone.

My problem is that my eyelashes are upside down. (The clever people among you would have realised that from the title. Humour me.)

So there I was applying my black, water-proof mascara, it has to be water-proof, I cry when I laugh and as I’m always laughing, do I need to say anymore… when I noticed that the bottom ones are longer than the top. Not just a little bit longer either. I wouldn’t say that they were long, the bottom ones, just that they are longer than the top.

Confused? Well my partner was when I ran out of the bathroom screaming that I was deformed. Bless him, he tried to make me feel better by saying, ‘you’re not that badly deformed!’ but that didn’t help. How could I face the World like this? Surely everyone is looking at me, pointing their fingers, trying not to laugh at me but failing miserably.

What could I do? I am rubbish at putting those false eyelashes on. Whenever I did try I couldn’t get the corners to stay or one end would and the other wouldn’t, which left my eyes looking like a lop-sided spider. Not that there’s anything wrong with being one of those, I add, in case there are any said spiders reading this. Incidentally, if you are, then please comment.

Anyway, I shared my problem with my friend, who just happens to have the longest lashes I have ever seen, apart from my daughter’s which are long too. She was sympathetic once she’d stopped laughing and realised that I was serious. She’d said that she hadn’t noticed before but on closer inspection, all was evident. She gave me some advice on what the possibilities were and again, ‘false ones’ were mentioned.

Now, I didn’t want lashes that, when I blinked I fanned everyone in the room. All I wanted was to look normal again. My confidence had taken a serious blow and I needed to deal with it if I were to carry on a normal, working life.

I couldn’t imagine there being anyone in the same boat as me but I expect there were and still are. I’m not trying to over dramatise things, I have been accused of being a ‘Drama Queen’ before. How very dare they!  No, I just wanted to be able to flutter my lashes and feel them flutter, not too much to ask for.

So, at my earliest convenient time to set about buying some, I did just that. All for the sake of vanity. My daughter helped me select the correct ones. I didn’t go for the really thick ones, nor the sparkly ones. I didn’t want people to notice that I was wearing them. I just wanted them to be life like. I bought just the pair.

The sales assistants should really show you how to apply them because, even though I knew I was a useless lash fixer, I still tried…and tried…and gave up. At one point I had a lovely curly moustache,( not ideal if you are a lady though). Luckily the glue wouldn’t stick over my lip so it didn’t adhere. Phew!

With my daughter’s help I achieved the look I was after. My friend’s party was the place to wear them and how ‘special’ they made me feel, although I was scared they would start to slide off down my face so kept asking my daughter and friend, ‘are they still there?’ Of course they stayed until I peeled them off that night. Crikey! That didn’t half hurt!

When I look back at the photos, of which there are many but I’m not showing anyone, I could tell that there was something different about me. It wasn’t the lashes because they didn’t show up in the photos. It was probably the confidence oozing out of every pore of my being and my beaming smile.

The smile that made my cheeks look massive. I’ll have to think of a way to disguise them. How I don’t know. Any ideas anyone?

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