Well, I’ve decided to take the plunge and here I am starting a blog.
The thing is, I haven’t got a clue on how to do it. I used to think I was a fairly bright person but just starting this has changed my opinion. ‘ What shall I write?’ I keep asking myself, with no answer coming to mind. Maybe I’m thinking too much and I should just let my thoughts drift off to the world where my randomness (is that a word?) comes into it’s own.
Don’t expect to read intelligent stuff from here onward, you have been warned!
Let me tell you some of the things that come out of my mouth before I’ve had a chance to think them over… things like the sayings that have been around for years but I can’t seem to get right. In my head it sounds right but as soon as I hear myself saying them I realise what a big mistake I’ve made and add to that everyone in earshot is laughing at me.
- Talking to a teacher I work with I said ‘I’ll kill one bird with two stones’
- ‘She’ll be like a bear with a sore thumb’ was what I said about another teacher
- On hearing some comment I said ‘Not that old cherry’
- ‘Life is a bowl of chestnuts’ (I get cherries and chestnuts mixed up)
Also, a game I played as a child, I always thought was called ‘Pigeon Toss’ turns out was meant to be ‘Pitch and Toss’
I can’t help myself and always end up blushing profusely.
The trouble is it doesn’t stop at sayings. I also ask stupid questions at inopportune times, usually in a packed staff-room when everyone just happens to stop talking just as I speak. One such time was a few years ago when England was playing in the World Cup, (I think it was them, not completely sure) anyway, it was a game when the referee gave out lots of red cards. Me, trying to join in with the conversation just innocently asked, ‘How did the ref know how many red cards to take on the pitch with him? What if he ran out of them?’ As I said before it was an innocent question and I truly didn’t know why everyone was laughing. It didn’t take long before answers came my way. One was, ‘ Well when the ref runs out of red cards they send out a helicopter over the pitch and parachute more down to him’ and ‘ Did you think it was like team points and the players collect them?’ or, ‘Well the referee has big pockets so he can carry as many as he thinks he may need’ I knew, then, at that moment I’d said the wrong thing. How was I to know that the ref merely showed them the card and put it back in his pocket. Luckily I didn’t follow up my initial question with my next thought which was, ‘Where do the players put their cards while they play?’